From the Home Office in Deer Creek, Oklahoma
# 10 Make sure all Trump escorts are screened for STDs
# 9 Pledge to set the democratic world back at least seventy years
# 8 Set out to have Birtherism taught in all tax funded public school systems
# 7 Mail out inspirational photos of Roy Cohn to Boy Scouts of America
# 6 Have Keith Schiller take care of Michael Cohen and Jeff Sessions
# 5 Launder at least another $20 billion in Cypriot bank
# 4 Use Scott Pruitt to inflate energy stocks then short the living shit out of oil
# 3 Set in motion mechanisms to have Mike Tyson replace Mike Pence on the 2020 ticket
# 2 Blame Low Energy Jeb Bush and Little Marco Rubio for initiating whole climate change hoax
# 1 Master the art of the deal by lying your ass off every time you open your mouth