Plenty for Caligula To Do During NJ Golf Getaway

Not really sure why Donald Trump needs a vacation unless he’s worn himself out playing golf, tweeting, watching cable television, campaigning in West Virginia, alienating our strongest allies and ceding leadership of the democratic free world to Angela Merkel.

Then of course there’s the Russia thing. The firing of James Comey. The scathing harassment of his own attorney general. His own party sanctioning Russia over his veto. And of course those eleven days with Anthony Scaramucci.

Caligula should be pooped and we don’t even know how hard he’s been moving on Ivanka when Jared wasn’t looking. So the Big Guy with horrible hair needs a break no doubt.

But he should have plenty to work on if he can find some spare time in New Jersey in that every one of his campaign pledges still remains undone. Build the wall and have Mexico pay for it. Repeal and replace healthcare. Tax reform. Infrastructure. Redo trade treaties. Win the war in Afghanistan. Looming budget reconciliation. All things Caligula needs to get going so his Steve Bannon core will know he’s not just a poser Birther who conned them.

Get to work, Caligula. There’s plenty to be done.

He has such little hands for a guy his size. They’re tiny. Caligula has tinier hands than Little Marco Rubio. He should maybe start wearing gloves. The man has tiny little hands. I can’t even pay attention to what he’s saying about The Wall. My eyes are frozen on those hands.

This Dude Should Move to West Virginia

I keep looking for this little guy every time Caligula takes a break from one of his golf courses to revisit West Virginia to secure those Electoral College votes for 2020. By my calculations, if Caligula continues to revisit West Virginia every two weeks for the remainder of 2017–that would be ten more times this year this little guy could jump back on the stage with the man in his life. The fact that Donald Trump has in no way enacted or passed one single piece of meaningful legislation so far into his presidency is irrelevant. Dude needs to move to Huntington and follow his dream. Who knows–maybe Caligula will become bored with moving heavily on entertainment television talk show hosts. It’s worth a shot.

Who are these people? Would Jerry Springer even allow them on his set?

This is what these people have turned me into…sheesh. I wonder if Mike Pence and his wife are okay with this?

Donald Trump: The King of West Virginia

If ever one day exemplified there are two Americas—yesterday was it. While Donald Trump was once again in West Virginia–Bob Mueller was impaneling another grand jury in the jurisdiction of Washington D.C. Another thing of note is two Republicans senators, Lindsey Graham from South Carolina and Thom Tillis from North Carolina, were presenting legislation which will inhibit Donald Trump from firing Bob Mueller once the layers of evidence begin unraveling. So, clearly, GOP senators are slowly, but surely answering the bell somewhat.

Trump should play this at his next West Virginia rally and see what happens. Also, on the rally clip, look closely at the people in the audience and what you’ll see is Steve Bannon’s 33% base.

Two Americas.

GOP Senator Jeff Flake Mans Up

Jeff Flake has consistently been critical of Donald Trump’s lack of character and veracity. So no surprise he’s written a book. Good for him. I’ve called one of Oklahoma’s senators SIX times since the inauguration asking his office when he might man up something like this considering he was a youth minister before becoming a politician. I think I’m going to buy James Lankford the book and send it to his office with a personal note of course.

Gold Star Parent General John Kelly

One of my customers is a single mom whose two sons are both young Marines getting ready to be deployed.

The other day I asked, “Where are they headed?

As only a Marine mother could answer she replied, “The sandbox.”

I hesitated, then asked,”What does that mean exactly?”

Her eyes were a little red, but she said, “It means they’ll do their job.”

I thought of her and her two sons when I came across this video of General Kelly speaking to a group of Gold Star parents.

If you put politics aside and realize what it truly means to be an American it is genuinely humbling.

This is a great video and it may give some insights into who General John Kelly is as a man. But more importantly it reminds that being an American has nothing to do with this bullshit we’re watching 24/7.

General Kelly Says to Scaramucci, “You’re Fired, You Stupid Little Bitch.”

Good for General Kelly as he begins the arduous task of cleaning out Caligula’s swamp. Eleven days, the little Sicilian lasted a mere eleven days after his outburst to the New Yorker.

Next should be Bannon. Then the microwave bimbo Kellyanne Conway. Then those two idiot sons of his. Then the son in law. Then the daughter he longs to have sex with in the Lincoln Room. All of them…gone. Be the good Marine you’ve always been, General Kelly. Get rid of this collection of human debris. All of them.

After the dumpster fire of a week in America last week, this is actually something good.

I’m assuming when General Kelly agreed to take this job there were precise stipulations attached. They’re all idiots and hopefully they’ll be gone by Friday.

Go for it, General Kelly. Run the stairs. Time to run the stairs and put and end to this shit.

Why America Isn’t the Greatest Country Anymore

It’s not just because of Donald Trump being elected POTUS, but more that Trump being able to get elected is an indicator of how far we’ve fallen culturally the past twenty years or so. How far we’ve devolved. John McCain voted no the other night on the GOP healthcare, but eight years ago he selected Sarah Palin as his running mate. See what I mean.

We lost our edge. We’ve become collectively lazy and somewhat dumb. We aren’t exceptional anymore and it’s not because of Donald Trump, it’s because of the collective us. Trump is just the symptom.

Can General Kelly House Train Caligula?

He’s not house trainable. So—they should give up with that. He’s a rogue, a hustler, a con artist, and grifter. He’s the only POTUS in history who lectured the Boy Scouts of America on oral clitoral stimulation. He is what he is.

I don’t think you discipline a grifter/furniture store sport fucker. You just try to insulate him between a human wall of Kelly, McMaster, and Mattis and pray America gets through this.

His core crazies don’t want him to change. He’s the anti Jeb Bush. If he and Scaramucci want to pierce their dicks during a White House briefing—then turn them loose. It’s what the Deplorables breathe for 24/7.

Caligula’s purge continues as Reince Preibus was fired as White House Chief of Staff and replaced by General John Kelly. Historically–it is the shortest tenure ever of a White House Chief of Staff. Preibus tried to house train him and failed miserably. He’s not Bush 41, he’s not even Bush 43, he’s a strip bar owner and Billy Bush’s favorite sport fucking hero. It is what he is. Period.

The theme with Caligula is very consistent. These people who work for him are diminished, denigrated, and eventually humiliated. But I don’t feel sorry for any of them. They know the score going in. They in essence are selling their souls to the devil and when his checks bounce…what can you really say? You sell your soul to a grifter con artist and this is how it usually ends.

We’re prayaing for you, General Kelly.

C’mon, he moved on her heavily and tried to fuck her. He took her furniture shopping and moved on her like a bitch. What more do you want from your president?

McCain Votes No, Puts GOP Out of Its Own Healthcare Misery

Did anyone really ever think the GOP had any real plan for healthcare reform for the American people? After eight years of tough talk and a complete unwillingness to repair Obamacare—the yarn came to a merciful end on Friday as John McCain saved his party and his country from embarrassing itself any further. Who knows, maybe even Mitch McConnell was in on it and knew he had John McCain’s no vote in hand to abdicate the GOP from any allegations whatsoever that they can actually govern beyond giving tax breaks to our wealthiest citizens.

Of course, tough talkers Lindsey Graham, Marco Rubio, and Ted Cruz all voted yes as we knew they would. In retrospect, can you really blame Caligula for routinely disparaging these three losers throughout the GOP primaries process. If you put these three in an iron cage you’d have to wonder if it would be a fight to the death or a threesome. I never would have written such a thought a week ago, but now that we live in the Golden Age of Antonio Scaramucci, apparently we need to write things about GOP men doing intimate things to one another.

We would assume McConnell and Ryan, being the ever paid for Koch Brother foot soldiers they truly are, will march forward to tax reform and the sacred holy grail known as the alternative minimum tax.

So we’ll never know. Did John McCain do the right thing for Americans or did he just do the right thing for the GOP by saving his party from itself and the messy prospect of actually doing something beyond just giving out tax breaks to the wealthiest Americans.

Nick Collison on Staying in Oklahoma City

I need a break from the Purger and the Mucher. Nick always calms me. I love listening to him talk Thunder basketball. I do kind of like Scaramucci though in that if I read his recent comments correctly—he pretty much said Bannon sucks Trump’s cock whenever his brand needs a boost. Can’t disagree with that. Enough of that though.

For Rex Tillerson and the Boy Scouts of America