I can’t take my eyes off Donald Trump’s tiny little hands. He’s this huge orange whale with these tiny little hands. I know those tiny little hands are the reason he became a bully and is so mean to so many people at so many different levels. But still…I can’t take my eyes off his hands. I’m thinking at some point maybe Dr. Birx can help him out with the hands with a vaccine or some cream or something.
When Richard Pryor was living he had this story in his stand-up routine about this black character named Mudbone.
This character originally had a friend with really huge feet, but he went to this voodoo lady who had a three-legged monkey to see if she could help him out with his feet.
I always think of Richard Pryor when I’m looking at Donald Trump’s hands. I can’t take my eyes off his hands, and now I can’t take my mind off Richard Pryor telling this story about these huge feet which because of a voodoo lady became really tiny little feet.
But this is my ultimate theory on Donald Trump’s hands. Somewhere in his childhood he got on the wrong side of a voodoo lady in Brooklyn who put a mojo curse on his hands… and ever since they’ve been tiny.