From the Dave Letterman Home Office in Deer Creek, Oklahoma
Top Ten Trump 2024 Campaign Notes to Self-List
10 Find list with names, addresses, and Social Security numbers of all African Americans who voted for Trump in 2020
9 If Trump takes a dip in polls remember to go on Fox and call Heidi Cruz a big, fat ugly pig
8 Never again tell Melania…. Stormy Daniels was the best piece of ass Trump ever had before taking stage at a rally in Mississippi
7 Ask Ben Carson to serve on cabinet in some obscure role where he does virtually nothing
6 Save best oral sex jokes for the speeches to the Christian evangelicals in Texas
5 Keep thought to self about having Mr. Pillow replace Justice John Roberts on the Supreme Court
4 Promote aggressive book burning policies in Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Louisiana
3 Actually hang Mike Pence at a Trump rally in Alabama with Mo Brooks pulling the lever
2 Promote Marjorie Taylor-Green to be first ever GOP woman to serve as Vice-President
1 Drum roll, please….. Completely disavow anything Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Eisenhower, or Ronald Reagan ever said about government or the Constitution.